Keitaro, the Pervert
by Cheshire Cat5
Summary: COMPLETE: What if Naru and Motoko were right about Keitaro, after all? What if he really WAS a pervert? OOC Keitaro, NOT a lemon. Please review!
1. Chapter One

_Disclaimer: Love Hina is not mine, it was written by Ken Akamatsu, and animated by Tokyo TV. This is an out of character Keitaro, if you didn't realise!_

What if Naru was actually right? Maybe Keitaro isn't just a misunderstood, clumsy and naive fool, maybe he is in actual fact a pervert.

**Keitaro, the Pervert: Part 1**

It was 7am in Hinata-sou, and Keitaro lay on his futon, listening to the sounds of movement from the room above.

"Now, that was her moving over to the closet..." he murmured to himself, as he mentally traced Naru's movements from the sounds. After a few seconds, he stood up, and prepared to climb up through the hole in the ceiling. He grabbed a text book from the table ready.

"OK, she should just about be ready... now!"

He pushed the cover aside, and stuck his head up through the hole.

"Naru, about this question..." he began, before his eyes settled on Naru, who was halfway though putting her pantyhose on. They stared at each other for a few seconds, as Keitaro struggled to maintain an expression of surprise and bewilderment, before Naru's instinct kicked into action.

"HENTAI!" she screamed, using a well-placed kick to send him bouncing against the far wall, ceiling, and then back down the hole into the floor below. She pulled the cover back over and sat on it.

Back down in the room below, Keitaro rubbed a lump on his head.

"Ow!" he grimaced, and then brightened up. "Still... she's still got that hot butt on her! Maybe I'll get lucky today, and get to see her in the hot springs..."

With that thought snugly resting in his mind, Keitaro tidied up, and went down to get his breakfast.

* * *

"Mmmm, thankyou, Shinobu!" said Keitaro, rubbing his fully belly contentedly, "That breakfast was superb! You'll make someone a good wife, one day..."

Shinobu turned crimson with pleasure and embarassment in roughly equal quantities.

"Auuuu!" she replied, eloquently, "I... I'm happy to cook for you!" Shinobu looked down at her feet, thinking about life as Keitaro's wife.

Keitaro saw her reaction, and although he kept it from his expression, he could tell the young girl had a major crush on him. It was so much fun to get her all hot and flustered like this! Maybe she'd have to have a bath later...

"KEITARRRRRO!" cam a loud shout from over the other side of the room. Keitaro recognise Kaolla's voice, and knew what was coming. He pushed his chair back slightly.

"What've you done to Shinobu? Pervert!" shouted Kaolla, leaping over the table to land a kick on the side of Keitaro's head. Keitaro stood up slightly, and thanks to his repositioning of the chair, he managed to fall over sideways... and land in a big crash right on top of poor Shinobu.

When the dust cleared, Keitaro was in a pile on the floor, with his head up her short skirt and his face planted right into her panties. There was a moment of shocked pause, which Keitaro used to draw in a deep breath, taking in the scent of Shinobu's underwear and shivering with excitement. Then...

"Auuuuu! Sempai!"

"Urashima! You dare to molest innocent Shinobu!"

"Hentai! She's only in junior high!"

With a punch/bokken combination, Naru and Motoko sent Keitaro off through the wall before anyone could spot the tell-tale bulge in his pants. By the time he returned, he'd managed to get it back under control.

Naru and Shinobu were arguing.

"Honestly, Shinobu-chan, I don't know why you defend that pervert!" fumed Naru.

"But, Naru-sempai... I'm sure it was only an accident!" replied Shinobu, hesitantly. "It was Kaolla-chan, really... she kicked him. Keitaro-sempai is not to blame! Poor Keitaro I felt him shaking with fear just before you hit him..."

"Keitaro seems to be involved in far too many 'accidents'," interjected Motoko, flatly. "You should know all males are perverts, and want only to despoil a maiden's purity."

Shinobu looked unhappy, but still defiant. She ran out of the room past Keitaro, only pausing to whisper "Sorry, sempai!" as she passed him. Keitaro, though, was more worried about Motoko's remark. Clearly, he'd have to tone things down for a little while. With this in mind, he quickly excused himself and returned to his room.

* * *

At the back of Keitaro's closet was a hidden secret panel. After locking the door and checking the secret passages that they thought he didn't know about, Keitaro opened the panel to reveal his collection.

Several shelves held a number of photo albums, all with labels such as "Motoko - hot spring" and "Naru - upskit". There were several rows of videotapes labelled similarly. There was also a video recorder, a compact screen, and a switched receiver for the many wireless video cameras that Keitaro has concealed around the inn.

These days, you could get a tiny wireless video camera smaller than a matchbox for next to nothing. Naturally, it took a bit of time to conceal them in good locations the locker rooms, hot springs, and of course the girls' bedrooms not to mention the regular maintenance of replacing batteries and so on, but they had already paid for themselves. Being the apartment manager, he had the perfect excuse for working at all times and places, and he had more than enough opportunity to plant them and make sure they were correctly angled and focussed.

Originally, after he'd first arrived, he'd tried drilling peepholes and using a digital camera. This was fine with some of the girls, but Motoko had an uncanny knack of being able to locate him whenever he drew near. Far better to use the wireless cameras electronics doesn't have a ki aura.

Scanning through some of the cameras, he spotted Naru just walking into the hot springs. Keitaro cursed under his breath he'd missed the chance to record her undressing in the locker room again. His hot-spring-cameras were not working either probably the damp had shorted the batteries again. He'd fix them today when he cleaned the springs. Anyway, he had other tasks for today.

* * *

Keitaro wandered into the videogame arcade. After a short while, he managed to locate Haitani and Shirai, shom he'd been looking for, and signalled to them to meet him out the back.

"So, K-man, got anything new for us, then?" asked Haitani, excitedly.

"Maybe I do," replied Keitaro casually, pulling out a brown envelope and opening it. He slid out a large photograph, briefly revealing to the other boys a picture of Motoko in the hot springs locker room , bending over to pick up a towel. Haitani quickly grabbed at his nose to forestall a nosebleed, as Keitaro swiftly returned the picture to its envelope.

"Hey, I didn't see!" whined Shirai, but he was ignored by the other two.

"Same price as always?" smirked Haitani, holding out a Y1000 note with a gleam in his eye.

"I... don't think so." Keitaro replied. He fixed them with a cold glare. "This one's better than usual... and they're getting suspicious. The price is going up to Y2500 from now on."

"What! We can't afford that! You know..."

Keitaro tuned out the whining complaints. He knew they'd eventually agree to the price it was still cheap even at the new price, and he had a VCD of the whole video footage. They'd pay because it was the only way the losers would ever get to see Motoko naked and live to tell.

Eventually, they agreed, as Keitaro knew they would. Haitani handed over the money.

"You're a lucky bastard, Keitaro," he commented, as Keitaro quickly put the cash into his pocket. "You've got everyone's dream job! At least you share it with your friends... but I still wish you'd give us a discount? No? Oh well call us when you've got something new. I'd like something of Naru, maybe, and Shirai still has the hots for your aunt."

"I'll see what I can do," Keitaro replied. He could manage the pictures of Naru, but he wasn't so foolish as to try for pictures of Haruka. If Naru or Motoko found out his secret, he might live or at least have a swift death. If it were Haruka... well, it just didn't bear thinking about.

* * *

Back in his room again, Keitaro finally had a few moments to himself. He knew Naru was out for the rest of the day, so after checking the door was locked, he opened the secret cupboard in his closet and pulled out the album labelled 'Shinobu'.

Keitaro flipped through the pages as he sat on his futon, and remembered the fortunate events at breakfast. Even after everything, Shinobu still defended him, and thought him completely innocent! He knew she had a crush on him... maybe, she actually enjoyed those intimate 'accidents'? Had her scent been just that little bit more musky?

Maybe he should seduce her... but no. That would mark the end of everything here, and Keitaro was far too sensible to risk his dream job for a few moments of pleasure. Besides, he could 'have her' in his fantasies, later that evening.

Keitaro moved to return the book to the shelf, but the urgency he was feeling in his groin was far too distracting. No... not later. Now.

Keitaro sat back down on the futon, opened the book in front of him, and reached for the box of tissues.

* * *

**Authors Notes:**

Ewwww. Keitaro really is a hentai. Poor Shinobu is the unwitting victim this time, but who will be the target later? And, how long can he keep his activities secret from the girls? Does his future hold comeuppance, or just come? (ewww)

I got this idea after reading a number of articles about the number of Japanese men who enjoy taking up-skirt photos of unwitting young ladies. This sort of thing is seen as the worst sort of behaviour in the west, but a disturbingly high number of Japanese men seem to engage in it. Why do they feel the need to do this, when the country is already filled with miniskirted beauties? Can't they be happy with what they've already got, and act with a bit more moral fibre?

Finally a warning for not just girls but guys as well this Keitaro is fictional, but there really are perverts like this about. Don't be naieve, and don't let them get away with it.


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer:** Love Hina is not mine, it was written by Ken Akamatsu, and animated by Tokyo TV. This is an out of character Keitaro, if you didn't realise! 

What if Naru was actually right? Maybe Keitaro isn't just a misunderstood, clumsy and naive fool, maybe he is in actual fact - a pervert.  
**

* * *

****Keitaro, the Pervert: Part 2**

Keitaro awako that morning feeling refreshed. He'd been having perverted dreams of Naru all night, and although he realised this would mean he'd have to wash the sheets again today, it still left a warm feeling in his body.

Remembering Motoko's comments yesterday, he decided to show a lower profile today. It wouldn't do to get them too suspicious! Besides, he had a lot of work to day on the inn today, and not least to fix those non-functional cameras in the hotsprings. When they were working, they were his best source of saleable footage, so he needed them back online. Also, he needed to get Haitani a good picture of Naru in order to get him hooked at the new higher price.

Keitaro was grinning to himself as he walked down to breakfast. Everything was coming together - soon, he'd have a nice little nest-egg squirrelled away for the future, and then he could maybe continue his plans of opening a lucrative little 'Hostess club' in Tokyo...

---

As Keitaro sat down at the breakfast table, his grin became wider, as he realised how he could satisfy Shirai's lusts for his aunt, while still preserving his own safety.

"What'cha grinnin' at, Keitaros?" giggled Kaolla, spotting Keitaro's expression as she helped herself to a seventh pile of pancakes.

"Ha! Probably something perverted, knowing him!" snorted Naru, scowling over at the manager. If it weren't for the fact that she always guessed this, he'd have said she was a mind reader. However, since Keitaro wasn't going to be surprised by her predictable reaction, instead he quickly replaced the grin with a shocked expression.

"Narusegawa! Of course not! I... I was just so pleased to be able to eat such tasty food, that's all!" he threw a grin at Shinobu, who flushed beet-red and mumbled something into her plate.

"I'm sure," Naru scoffed. "Anyway, pervert, don't forget we've a study-session later with Mutsumi. And try to remember to behave, else I might not invite you to my room again."

"Of course! I'll do my best..." Keitaro replied, while mentally kicking himself for forgetting the study group. Now it was even more important to get those hotspring cameras fixed! That watermelon-obsessed bimbo, Mutsumi, was sure to want to use the springs, and she was even better-endowed than Naru. This would be golden!

---

Later, Keitaro was up in his room, working on his computer. In theory, he was studying hard, but in actual fact he'd spent the last half hour surfing his favourite porn websites, looking for a picture that suited his needs.

You see, Keitaro had come up with a neat solution to the problem of how to obtain a photograph of Haruka 'au naturel' for Shirai. Since he didn't want to risk his life by taking an actual picture of her, and since neither Haitani nor Shirai had ever seen the real thing, then all he had to do was to make a computer composite. The spy cameras were fairly low-quality pictures anyway, and if he could find a picture that roughly approximated Haruka's build, he could do a photo head-swap and produce something fairly convincing. More importantly, if it ever came to light, Haruka would know it to be a fake and the blame wouldn't point at him.

Finally locating something appropriate, along with a few compatible photos from his 'normal' family photo album, he saved the images to his encrypted disk area, and shut the system down. It was time to fix the hotsprings cameras, under the guise of doing the cleaning - but first to check to see if the girls were there.

After doing his normal security checks, Keitaro opend his secret panel and switched on the video screen. He started to scan through the numerous cameras, to track down where the girls were currently - first the locker room, although that was sadly empty, and then around the house.

He was just checking the corridor when the screen broke up into swirls of static. He cursed, and switched to another camera which was fine for a short while before it too lost signal. Clicking through a few others, he found many still working, although others had failed - but the original camera with a problem had come back to life again!

Switching between the various transmitters, Keitaro was concerned to find them losing signal apparently at random, and then coming back. First one area of the house would fail, and then another - and then it would be back to normal! Keitaro muttered some definitely non-PG words under his breath, and switched off the set in irritation. He'd have to check them all later, possibly install some of the newer stronger-powered transmitters he'd bought more recently. But first, he'd do the hotsprings. If they came out OK, then it might just be low batteries that was the problem.

---

Keitaro wandered down the corridor towards the hot springs, thinking about Mutsumi. She was a bit of an air-head, but he was pretty certain that she'd have no objection to giving him a bit of action, should he ask her. Not only that, she'd probably even pose for his photos without any objections.

The only thing was, she'd also have no objections to telling all and sundry what they'd been up to, and what he'd asked her to do. If she did that, then he could kiss goodbye to his cushy number here! Sure, he'd be able to make a fair bit from pictures of her, but here he had a whole bunch to choose from. Maybe he could go for her later - when he decided it was time to open his Tokyo club, she'd be a great first employee - but it didn't make sense to kill the golden goose just yet.

With these thoughts in his head, he didn't notice Kaolla until it was too late.

"Mecha-tama five, go! Time to play, Keitaros!"

Keitaro jumped back to reality to see a robot turtle approaching at speed from the end of the passageway. As he desperately leapt to the side, he saw the turtle start to move erratically. It missed him and crashed through a wall, flying up into the sky, as Kaolla waggled furiously on a joystick attached to some sort of control box.

"Rats! Signal lost! Enemy jamming signals detected - switching to full automatic mode, commander!" burbled Kaolla to herself, as she tried pressing various buttons.

The mecha-tama seemed to be back under control as it swept back towards the house, and Keitaro - but again as it reached the corridor it behaved erratically and crashed into a heap. Kaolla leapt over to the wreckage with a screwdriver, but by that time, Keitaro was well away and entering the hotsprings.

As he had hoped, they were occupied.

"Auuuuuu! Sempai!"

"Oh! Ah, sorry, Shinobu-chan! I didn't know you were in there!"

"Pervert! How dare you peek at Shinobu-chan! What do you have to say for yourself... er, Keitaro, why are you going that colour?"

"Ah... Naru-sempai, maybe it would be wise to put some clothes on first?"

"Eeeeek!"

"Urashima, you degenerate pervert!"

Shortly after, Keitaro went flying out over Hinata, smugly grinning at having obtained such a wonderful eyeful. Despite having warned the girls he'd be working in there, they had still been waiting for him. Maybe they enjoyed displaying their bodies to him? If so, then maybe he could get them all to work for him in his club. And if they were a bit reluctant to agree, then he could always threaten to post a few hundred choice photos to the Internet...

---

It was just after lunchtime, and that meant that it was time for the study-session with Naru and Mutsumi. These sessions were torture for Keitaro. Not just because of the revision work (although that was difficult enough), but mainly because of Mutsumi.

Keitaro could see that Mutsumi was all but offering herself to him on a plate. Every time she bent down to pick something up, or 'accidentally' brushed against him... she'd even told him that she wanted to be a bit more than just friends. Keitaro knew that it would take no effort at all to get the voluptuous Okinawan with her legs in the air and her panties on the floor.

However... he also knew that Mutsumi would be completely unable to keep her mouth shut about it. If he ever took her up on those blatant come-ons, he'd be in worse trouble than if he'd tried it on with Kitsune. Mutsumi would probably be broadcasting the news far and wide within an hour, and that would be the end of his opportunities here! He'd have to hold on, and wait... in the future, if his plans came off and he opened that Tokyo hostess club, then Mutsumi would doubtless come along with him - and by that point there'd be no reason to hold back.

Still, it was practically torture for Keitaro to have such luscious fruit dangled in front of his nose when he didn't dare touch it! Did she realise what she was doing? Probably not - she was such a ditz!

Eventually, the ache in Keitaro's groin became too much to bear. Sighing, he 'accidentally' managed to get his hand up Naru's skirt, more for the chance to leave the room than to cop a feel of her pert little rear end.

Keitaro went flying, again.

---

Later that afternoon, Keitaro finally found the time to sit down at the computer again to work on his photographic manipulation. It took the best part of an hour, but he managed to get Haruka's head digitally transferred onto the body of a model who was apparently in a bathroom. It was rather convincing - if he said so himself - and after blurring it to make it look authentic and printing it out, he doubted anyone would be able to tell it was doctored without a fair amount of work. Haruka, of course, would know it to be fake immediately - but, if his luck held out, she'd never be seeing it! It would be good enough to fool Shirai, and that would be enough to keep him hooked, gain a packet of Yen, and provide a way to blackmail him if necessary.

Having completed his work, he quickly printed it off onto photographic paper and hid it away in the secret cupboard. As he did so, he glanced at the album most recently worked on - a set of locker-room pictures of Motoko, including the latest one he had sold to those drooling fanboys.

Keitaro hesitated, and then shrugged. Why not? He had a while yet before the evening meal.

He licked his lips, and grabbed the tissues.

---

"Heyas, Naru! Take a lookie at this!" Kaolla shouted, excitedly.

The girls were sat in the common room, having just had a relatively uneventful dinner. Somehow Keitaro had managed to act a complete gentleman, and Naru had found herself wishing he would do something perverted, just so that she could enjoy the physical contact with him that was involved in delivering a Naru-punch. This odd thought worried her greatly, since she knew she could not possibly be attracted to him no matter how cute he may occasionally appear to be.

"I was playing with Keitaros earlier," explained Kaolla, happily, "and lost control of Mecha-tama five! It seemed to be something jamming my new control signals, and so I started a scanner running on the control frequencies, and found all sorts of goodies. See this!"

With that, Kaolla plugged a strange device bearing the three-eye symbol of Molmol into the TV set, and twiddled on some knobs. The screen then started to display a picture of the hotsprings.

"The hotsprings. Well, that _is_ exciting," commented Naru, sarcastically. "We haven't seen that before now, have we?"

The screen then switched to show several other scenes in swift progression.

"Hey, that's my bedroom!" shouted Naru, suddenly. "Suu-chan, did you put a mecha-tama spying in my room?"

"Nope! I don't know where all these signals are coming from!" said the resident engineer. "They're from all over the place! I got to see where Motoko hides her notebook with her novel - now I've managed to read chapter six!"

"Ano... can you tell me where..." began Shinobu, quietly.

Motoko flushed in embarassment. "Kaolla-san! You should not invade people's privacy like that! That notebook is not for public perusal!"

"Um, Kaolla-chan," asked Shinobu, "can you... I mean... can you see into Keitaro's room? Just out of interest! Not that I want to spy on him or anything!" she waved her arms frantically, "But, maybe he's dressing? I mean, auuuuu! Not dressing! No, just, ano..." she dissolved into embarassed mumbling.

"Sorry Shinomu, but Keitaro's room's about the only place I cant seem to get a signal for." replied Kaolla. "I already thought about getting a good look at him in the buff, but no dice, sadly!"

"Anyway," interjected Kitsune, "Kaolla, what are those pictures coming from?"

"More to the point..." commented Naru, a worried expression on her face as she thought about the image of her bedroom, "... where are they going to, and just who is watching them?"

* * *

**Authors Notes**  
Looks like the pervert is going to be in trouble shortly. How's he going to get out of this, then? And anyone know the address of his 'Hostess Club' in Tokyo in time for my next visit? 


	3. Chapter Three

_Disclaimer: Love Hina is not mine, it was written by Ken Akamatsu, and animated by Tokyo TV. This is an out of character Keitaro, if you didn't realise!_

What if Naru was actually right? Maybe Keitaro isn't just a misunderstood, clumsy and naive fool, maybe he is in actual fact - a pervert.

* * *

**Keitaro, the Pervert: Part 3**

* * *

Keitaro was relaxing in his room when the girls burst in. Fortunately for him, he was actually studying rather than looking at anything incriminating - although, if that had been the case then he would have locked the door, of course. He allowed himself to be frogmarched downstairs by Motoko, while frantically running alternate scenarios through his head to prepare for whatever was coming.

When Keitaro saw the television in front of him, and the strange box with the three-eyed Molmol design on it, he knew what must have happened - and who was responsible. The worst-case scenario had come to pass, and much sooner than he'd expected.

"So, pervert," began Motoko, "what do you have to say to this, then?" as she pointed to the screen displaying the hot springs.

Keitaro worked hard to make sure he only displayed a puzzled expression, and not the irritation that he actually felt. At least he'd had enough sense to plan for this eventuality, and now it was time to put emergency plan A into effect.

"Err, the hot springs?" he said, trying to sound stupid.

"Yes, and broadcasting from your perverted little hidden cameras!" shouted Naru, waving a fist in Keitaros face and making him take a step backwards before being sharply restrained by Motoko. "Who else would hide these things then, eh?"

"What? It's not me!" Keitaro shouted, quickly. "Have you found granny Hina's security system, then?"

"Security system?" replied Naru uncertainly. Had granny Hina had a security camera network installed? It did sort of make sense, somehow...

"Yes, I remember her mentioning it!" interjected Keitaro, quickly. Don't lose the momentum! Keep them wrongfooted and keep it simple. "I've been looking for it ever since I got here..." he continued, before quickly breaking off and looking guilty.

"Yes, I bet you have, you pervert!" responded Naru, true to form. Give her something to feel aggrieved about, and she'd forget everything else! "Well, you can just forget about ever finding it now! We're closing it down, and fortunately before you could ever get your perverted little hands on it."

Motoko reluctantly released Keitaro before pushing him down into a seat.

"You just stay here," she warned him, "while we go and clear things out! Kitsune, keep an eye on him!" and with that, she stormed off with Naru, presumably to find and remove any cameras around the house.

Keitaro finally let out a sigh of relief. That had been a close one, but he'd managed to dodge a bullet. Good thing the girls were so predictable.

"Oh, sempai! I knew it couldn't have been you!" Shinobu burst out, with a slight blush. "I always said you were a good man! But, I wouldn't have minded you seeing me in the hot springs..." she continued, before quickly running out, scarlet with embarassment.

"And, you could always see me with a little less on..." commented Kitsune, "...if you'd be willing to negotiate the right price, of course." she continued, with a seductive smile. When Keitaro started his glazed expression, she rolled up a sleeve by an inch or so. "There, you've seen a bit more of me - that should be worth a week's rent! Bye-bye, peeper!" and Kitsune wandered out, laughing - leaving Keitaro all alone to work out what to do next.

* * *

The next day, Keitaro woke in a foul mood. He'd checked the camers, and as she'd promised, Motoko had eliminated every one of them. He hadn't dared ask what she'd done with the equipment - probably destroyed it, knowing her. A dreadful waste of money, but the loss of his line of income was more worrying. Still, he'd already made a tidy amount from what he had, and the videos and pictures he had in stock were worth a lot.

However, things had just become too risky. He needed to make money fast, and get out before things became dangerous. With this in mind, he contacted Haitani and asked him if he'd be interested in buying the whole Naru album for a serious amount of money - Haitani had gone quiet, but wanted a meeting at lunchtime. Maybe he'd get a sale - otherwise it would just have to go to one of those magazine publishers Keitaro knew.

Keitaro also made a call to Shirai, and in a few terse words mentioned that if they could meet up in an hour, he had a picture of a certain 'older woman' available for Y5,000. Shirai didn't hesitate to agree, as Keitaro mentally kicked himself for not demanding double.

* * *

Meanwhile, Motoko was puzzling to herself over a pile of electronics. She'd looked at the concealed cameras, and something had been bothering her all night - now she came to look again in the daylight, it came to her. These devices ran on small batteries. How could they possibly have kept running since granny Hina left months back? Surely someone had been maintaining them?

She also remembered the locations that they had been retrieved from. Some just didn't make sense for security cameras, although it was possible they could have slipped to give a view of something not intended. Also, she was sure that one of them was in a section of wall replaced by Keitaro recently. How could he not have noticed it?

A further visit to Keitaro, and a talk, were in order.

* * *

However, Motoko was out of luck as at that moment, Keitaro was hurrying to the front door. He'd quickly grabbed the composite photo of 'Haruka', plus a floppy disk containing the image file and dropped them into a plastic bag. It had taken him a while to find his clean gloves (no fingerprints thankyou very much!) and he was now going to be late for his meeting with Shirai. He grabbed the 'Naru - golden' album, slammed the closet shut, raced down the stairs, and was out of the building before Motoko arrived to knock on his door. 

Receiving no answer, Motoko had no scruples about opening the door and looking in. Keitaro's room was as messy as ever... even the closet door was swinging open, no doubt having been hurridly closed. Wandering into the room, she noticed something odd about the back of the closet, and opened the door to see better. Yes, there seemed to be an improperly closed panel there...

Shortly afterwards, the people of Hinata heard what sounded like thunder in the distance, and began to bring in their laundry.

* * *

"Here, take it!" said Keitaro out of the side of his mouth as he thrust a small bag into Shirai's hands. Shirai wasted no time in checking out the contents, as Keitaro counted his money.

"Heh, heh, this is golden!" sniggered Shirai with a perverted grin as he checked out the 'picture' of Haruka from every angle. Shoving it back in the bag, he saw the other object in there, and pulled out the floppy disk. "What's this, then?" he asked, blankly.

"Its a disk with the image file on it," replied Keitaro, all the while looking around for anyone who might have seen the exchange. "You don't think I'm going to keep that on my machine, do you? I'm having no evidence whatsoever at home - and you should be careful, too. Haruka would whip the skin off your bones if she caught you with that..."

He trailed off when he saw Shirai's nose running a red stream at the thought of Haruka's whip.

"You're a sick bastard, Shirai," Keitaro commented dourly, "and if you ever mention my name in connection with this, I will see that you die slowly."

Shirai, however, was still wrapped up in his fantasies. Keitaro shook his head, and quickly made tracks towards his meeting with Haitani, leaving Shirai to his own devices. Eventually, Shirai packed up his things, and wandered off in the direction of the teahouse.

* * *

"A hundred thousand yen, and it's yours." remarked Keitaro, as Haitani flipped through the album with one hand and held a blood-soaked tissue to his nose with the other. Haitani blanched slightly at the figure - or maybe it was just from blood loss.

"A hundred? Where am I supposed to get that sort of money from?" shouted Haitani. Keitaro noticed that he didn't debate the price, though.

"That's your problem," Keitaro countered. "This might be the last available, so are you in or not?"

"Yeah... I'll do it, somehow..." whispered Haitani, softly. "I should have it for you by tomorrow... can I keep the album until then?"

"Dream on!" scoffed Keitaro, swiping the object from out of Haitani's hands. Inside, Keitaro was cheering to himself. If he could just do as well on the other books, he'd be able to cut and run this weekend. He might even be able to patch together some more fakes to sell that mug, Shirai.

* * *

"Haruka-san, he's been there for hours... he just sits there drooling and staring over here, with that perverted expression on!"

Haruka's last waitress was complaining to her about that customer in the corner. To be truthful, Haruka has noticed already how he'd been staring at her, with that flushed expression on his face. She was going to try to ignore it - he was a paying customer, after all - until she also noticed that his hand was below the table, moving rhythmically on something...

"Right, that's enough!" she said between clenched teeth, and started over to where Shirai was sitting.

Seeing her heading in his direction, Shirai panicked. He picked up a bag next to him, dropped it on the floor, scooped it up again, fell over, and fled out the door with his fly undone. Back at the table, the waitress was cleaning up.

"At least he left money here to pay the bill," she groused as she wiped the table. "Ewww... whats this sticky stuff on the seat??"

* * *

It was not much loater when the waitress brought something to Haruka's attention. 

"I found this over there under the table. I don't know what it is, but some customer must have dropped it?" she said, as she handed over what appeared to be an unmarked floppy disk.

"No idea." replied Haruka. "Here, stick it into the computer here. Maybe there's something on it to tell us whose it is?"

A few mouse clicks later, and a picture appeared on the screen. Haruka looked at it for a few seconds, before her cigarette fell to the floor, bitten in half.

"Haruka-san... I had no idea you were so big..." commented the waitress before being frozen by a glare as Haruka drove her fist into the monitor screen.

Haruka ejected the disk, and walked out without a word. She remembered now, that was the seat where the pervert had sat. She needed to find out where this disk had come from, and for that there was only one person to go to.

* * *

"Suu-chan, do you know who made this disk?" Haruka asked, dropping a bushel of bananas and a floppy disk into Suu's lap. 

"This? Oh, easy!" replied the hyperactive foreigner. "Look - it says on the label!"

Haruka looked at where Suu was pointing to the word "Mitsubishi".

"No." Haruka said through clenched teeth. "I need to know who owned it, who created the file on it. Not who manufactured it..."

"Okies! Why didn't you say so? I don't think it I can do it though... I'll just take a look at the files... ooohh! Harauka's a naughty girl! When did you pose for this, then? Looks like all the Urashimas are perverts!"

Haruka ground her teeth as Suu prattled on. At least she was doing something as she talked. The next thing to do would be to search for that sticky-handed pervert from earlier... A vague memory seemed to remind Haruka that the pervert was a classmate of Keitaro? Hopefully, Keitaro could help find him for her. Once done here, she'd go and ask him.

* * *

"Haruka-san! Stand aside!" Motoko shouted, her sword out and ready. 

Keitaro had come home, only to be met on entering by what appeared to be an incoherent, homicidal Motoko. He had barely dodged her attacks, which seemed to be more deadly than usual, when Haruka had appeared and placed herself between them.

"No, Motoko, you shall not harm my nephew!"

"Aunt Haruka! Am I glad to see you!" sobbed Keitaro while cowering behind her. She slapped him without taking her eyes off Motoko for a moment.

"Harauka-san, I have seen evidence with my own eyes that this man is a pervert of the worst kind! I intend to see that justice is served by spilling his blood! His neck will be cleanly severed by my blade..."

"It's true, Haruka," added Naru, stepping in from the side. "I've seen it too. There's no doubt about it - he's been peeping and spying for months..."

"I must kill this demon - only then can my honour be regained..."

"No! You will NOT kill him, I tell you!" Haruka interjected, implacably.

"And why not? Give me just one good reason why I should spare the life of this worm?"

"Because," said Haruka, her eyes narrowing as she turned to look at Keitaro, "it would be too fast, and too painless. You see, Keitaro," - and at this point, Keitaro felt hope drain away leaving nothing but a warm wet patch in his pants - "you see, I KNOW WHO MADE THE PICTURE!"

Keitaro crawled backwards, but the wall was in the way.

"Do you know what a GIF header block is? Do you know about image software automatically initialising the Author field?" Haruka spat out. "Well, neither do I. But I am assured that it amounts to definite evidence that YOU are not only an idiot, but also to blame for a bit of 'artwork' that I discovered. And you are going to talk, Keitaro, and tell us all what we need to know. And then, you will receive your just desserts..."

* * *

Outside Hinata-sou, the courtyard was clear apart from a large wooden block in the centre. Bound, Keitaro (wearing a traditional costume) was half led, half forced forward to kneel at the block. Motoko stepped forward, carrying the ceremonial sword. 

The girls stood in front of him.

"To think I once found you attractive!" said Naru, with contempt. "Your true self is now revealed, and you are less than the dirt on my boot."

"Thieving bastard!" said Kitsune. "You didn't even cut me in for my share! If you're going to use my picture, I want a good percentage! Besides, I may be a flirt, but I'm not a tart. I don't go that far."

"Sempai... how could you? I trusted you! Was it all a lie?" Shinobu looked up sadly. "I even lo.. liked you! Now I see that you just wanted /that/... you betrayed me..." she looked torn apart.

"You stole my honour," said Motoko, sternly, "but today - I will regain it!"

Haruka and Naru held Keitaro as Motoko advanced with the blade.

Shortly after, a scream rang out over Hinata-sou, and the sound of a blade biting into wood.

* * *

**Epilogue.**

It was later in the evening. Haruka and Motoko were in the lounge, with Naru and Kitsune.

"Is that Shinobu coming?" asked Haruka, hearing a noise in the corridor.

"I think so," replied Motoko. "Slave! The door!"

Keitaro, head bowed down, walked painfully over to open the door for Shinobu. The blue-eyed angel walked in, glancing at Keitaro with a glance of contempt before placing the silver dish she carried on the table between Haruka and Motoko.

The dish held nothing but two small cooked morsels, impaled on silver skewers.

"Ah, dinner..." said Haruka, as she and Motoko took one each. They both glared vengefully at Keitaro before taking a sharp bite and consuming the snack with relish. Keitaro winced visibly as they did so.

"Naru-sempai, I am sorry that there were not enough for you to also partake," commented Motoko. "However, as you see, soon there will be four more..."

And she indicated Haitani and Shirai, trussed up in the corner and fainting with fear.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Ouch. But Keitaro deserved it.

Finally finished! It certainly took long enough. The epilogue scene had me crossing my legs as I wrote it, I can tell you (I assume you all guessed what Motoko and Haruka ate?)


End file.
